Monday, January 31, 2011

Part 4: Using Truth to Lower the Volume on Negative Self-Talk

Part 4:
Using Truth to Lower the Volume on Negative Self-Talk

During the last two blogs, we’ve been examining how someone with low self-esteem might react if asked to prepare a report for management regarding their department’s performance.

We’re at the point where this request has consumed the individual for a week.  They feel ill, anxious and filled with trepidation.

Review:  If this was you and you had been keeping the notebook as I had requested, I’d ask you to really look at the situation and your notes.  Do you hear what your inner voice—or negative self-talk—is  is telling you? This is what you might be hearing:
1.        You can’t do it.
2.       You don’t know how to do it.
3.       Management will not think you have done a good job.
4.       Management will not like your report.
5.       You will be embarrassed.
6.       You will be humiliated.
7.       This will end badly.

Now, think back to similar situations.  Was there one or more situation in your childhood when you were asked to do something and you ended up being criticized, ridiculed and humiliated?  Somewhere there is a link.  You need to find that link. You need to associate your current response with its origin.

Once you can associate the current situation of today where you feel inadequate to the situation(s) in your childhood, you can make the intellectual link.  Once you have done that, you can identify that this current situation is NOT that past situation.  Then you need to find the TRUTH about the task at hand!

So ask yourself some questions ON PAPER and note your REAL answers.

1.       Do you believe that your department has been working hard?
2.       Do you believe that you’ve all been doing a good job and meeting expectations?
3.        Are you educated enough to write a brief report?

If the answers to these questions are “YES”, then you need to awake to the TRUTH that you have been doing a good job according to your definition and that you can show that in your report.  And, you need to awake to the truth that you are competent.

With these new truths identified in front of you, you can quell the fear and anxiety…or at least start to do so.  These actions and new behavior take time and patience.  But, they gain power and speed the more you practice them.  Like anything else, you will get better and better at identifying your negative thoughts and holding them up against the truth.  And that my friend, is when you will begin to really build your new self-esteem and personal power.

Now, hopefully with some of the anxiety, fear and uncertainty quieted you can make your presentation.  Afterwards, or after whatever situation you are confronting is complete, write down the actual outcome.  Note your wins.  Celebrate your achievements.  And make down improvements you’d like to make for next time.  Honing your personal skills and approving your abilities is a great step in improving self-esteem and building confidence.

Tune in shortly for more on building self-esteem by: Mining for the Truth and Identifying the Lies.

To your TRUE success!


Kathleen Aston
Founder & Life-Fulfillment Strategist

For more information on your complimentary 30-minute coaching session, call 888.447.1191.

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