Monday, January 31, 2011

Part 3: How to Refute Your Inner Voice

Part 3: How to Refute Your Inner Voice

In my last two blogs, I reviewed the Top 3 Useless Tips on Improving Self-Esteem.  The reason I deem them useless is because they are the final outcomes or results that need to be achieved to start affirming a new self-esteem and build self-confidence rather than the steps on how to reach each end result. 

Therefore I have taken each end result, and provided you with some steps you can use to get there. 

#1 USELESS Tip for Improving Self-Esteem:

1.       Refute Your Inner Voice—Change your outlook on life which includes changing your views on your own persona and that of the other people around you.

A:  Ok. So what’s my inner voice exactly and how do I refute it?  And how do I know what my inner voice is saying isn’t true? And what should I refute it with?  Oh…ok, so you just want me to wake up today and have a totally different outlook on myself and others. Sure. That sounds easy. NOT!

#1 USEFUL Tip for Improving Self-Esteem: HOW TO Refute Your Inner Voice
1.            Get a notebook. Record every incident and situation in your day and upcoming week where you experience anxiety, fear and trepidation—or any situation that you know you fear and causes you anxiety.  Write down what the situations or incidents are and how they physically make you feel.  Where do the physical sensations show up in your body? Then make careful notes about everything you think during the situation. What do your thoughts tell you and say to you during these events?

Yes. You do need to refute your inner voice. But, you can’t refute your inner voice unless you know what it is saying to you and have examined whether or not what your inner voice is telling you is TRUE or FALSE.

Example: You have been asked to prepare a report outlining the progress your department has made over the last 90-days.

Low Self-Esteem Response: You nod and go back to your office.  You can’t think.  You feel a knot in your stomach and a weight on your chest. You know you’re department has been very busy, but at the moment you can’t really think straight about what everyone’s actually been doing.

You start to write the report. What if the accomplishments aren’t enough? What if you forget something? What if they don’t like what you’ve done? What if they fire you? What if you humiliate yourself in front of them when you present the report? They are probably not going to like it. You haven’t done enough. This is going to be awful.

Over the next week, you can’t sleep. You spend countless hours working on a report that should have taken you an hour. By the time it’s time to present the report you are sick, sweating, anxious.

Does any of this sound or feel familiar? If there are situations in your life in which you experience this type of a reaction, or a similar one, then you can attribute it to a dip in your self-esteem in this area.

Tune in shortly for Part 4: Using the Truth to Lower the Volume on Negative Self-Talk.

To your TRUE success!

Kathleen Aston
Founder & Life-Fulfillment Strategist

For more information on your complimentary 30-minute coaching session, call 888.447.1191.

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